If it is of any consolation, take this advise from a Has-Been Teenager.
I was lamenting to this purposeful young adult, the eldest daughter of the Dream Family of the typical stress a parent goes through with parenting teenagers. I was eager to learn what I could do better to head towards moulding a Dream Family.
This young lady said something that was a huge consolation to all parents out there.
The age 12- 15 is the turbulent age. This is the age where the teenager is rude, inconsiderate and believes strongly that they are right, no matter what. But, as they cross that phase, the stability seeps in and things would turn brighter.
As I listened to her, I felt like she was speaking the words from my heart, words that I believe will eventually come true too, words to console myself when the clashes with the unreasonable teenager can be disheartening.
Well, since she has gone through this turbulent phase herself, I have every reason to want to believe her. So, parents out there, stay resilient and ride through the storm. Soon the sea will calm. And rainbows will colour your world !
Sunday, March 28, 2010
My Observation - The Dream Family
This got to be the dream family.
That was my take after a wonderful evening at their home party. Every dish was home-cooked, including assorted Indian cakes and home-made Durian ice cream ! Every assortment of food had a paper label placed by the side, just like in the hotel buffet servings, just that this is handwritten, delicately decorated with hand-drawn motifs and you can feel that it was the teamwork coming from a loving family.
This is quite a big family all living under 1 roof: Grandparents,parents and 4 children, teenagers approaching adulthood. Plus 1 maid, 2 dogs, Koi fish, goldfish.
What amazes me was the wonderful character the children displayed; playing great host, as if on behalf of their parents.
These children are outstanding children. The family hall cabinets were full with medals and trophies collected from sports meets. All of them play a certain Punjabi musical instrument. The eldest daughter was a JPA government scholar, graduated from Australia in Finance and now working in a bank. She dances and choreographs Punjabi dances as an interest. The eldest son was equally exceptional in studies, to pursue geology in US and gave us an incredible live performance of what Punjabi drums can do to uplift the music - impressive.
I couldn't help but beam with pride too, to see these young adults living their dreams. I couldn't help but wonder how their parents raise such wonderful kids - it is like asking Nicol David's parents what was their secret.
My own observation:
1) They are the typical configuration of a traditional family. Grandparents played their part as the respected elders supporting the working couple when they were young and building their family. The respect to elders was strong.
2) The Mother - earned the SuperMOM label from the eldest son (ooh .. when will I hear my sons say this !) stopped working and tended to family needs as the family grows.
3) They are strong in their religion.
4) They live with strong pride of their heritage.
5) They all enjoy doing things as a family.
Though I think a lot of credit probably goes to the Mother, she is humble and couldn't quite figure out what she did different from any other Mother. Her answer to parents was quite simply: "Spend time with the children." That sure sounds simple enough.
That was my take after a wonderful evening at their home party. Every dish was home-cooked, including assorted Indian cakes and home-made Durian ice cream ! Every assortment of food had a paper label placed by the side, just like in the hotel buffet servings, just that this is handwritten, delicately decorated with hand-drawn motifs and you can feel that it was the teamwork coming from a loving family.
This is quite a big family all living under 1 roof: Grandparents,parents and 4 children, teenagers approaching adulthood. Plus 1 maid, 2 dogs, Koi fish, goldfish.
What amazes me was the wonderful character the children displayed; playing great host, as if on behalf of their parents.
These children are outstanding children. The family hall cabinets were full with medals and trophies collected from sports meets. All of them play a certain Punjabi musical instrument. The eldest daughter was a JPA government scholar, graduated from Australia in Finance and now working in a bank. She dances and choreographs Punjabi dances as an interest. The eldest son was equally exceptional in studies, to pursue geology in US and gave us an incredible live performance of what Punjabi drums can do to uplift the music - impressive.
I couldn't help but beam with pride too, to see these young adults living their dreams. I couldn't help but wonder how their parents raise such wonderful kids - it is like asking Nicol David's parents what was their secret.
My own observation:
1) They are the typical configuration of a traditional family. Grandparents played their part as the respected elders supporting the working couple when they were young and building their family. The respect to elders was strong.
2) The Mother - earned the SuperMOM label from the eldest son (ooh .. when will I hear my sons say this !) stopped working and tended to family needs as the family grows.
3) They are strong in their religion.
4) They live with strong pride of their heritage.
5) They all enjoy doing things as a family.
Though I think a lot of credit probably goes to the Mother, she is humble and couldn't quite figure out what she did different from any other Mother. Her answer to parents was quite simply: "Spend time with the children." That sure sounds simple enough.
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